HURT

I know that hurt is essential- how else would we know what happiness is if there's nothing to compare it to?
But is it really necessary to feel as though someone had Goku punched your chest and your heart had flown out through your back??

As much as I want to believe that this was the best option... I'm not entirely sure. I don't think I can love you from across the country- I miss you too much.

Within a period of about a month, I've been both unbelievably happy and incredibly distraught. And as much as you believe that letting me call things off and end contact between us is what's best for me... it may not be. I've a shocking sense of self-preservation and there's a good chance that what happened tonight could be the dummest thing I've ever done. It hurts so much...

I cannot see why you were so interested in me in the first place and I know that I said I'd moved on from the self loathing, but the more I got to know you and the awesomer you became.. the more I am convinced that you do deserve so much more... and I sincerely hope you find someone that will make you happy.